Mood Swings

Mood swings?! I'm kinda troubled with my self right now. Cant understand my vague mind is it because I think too much or just full of rubbish in me. I always make her feel down and sad even make her cry at times. Anyways... Writing is not my way or an exit nor escape to solve my problems. It's kinda helping me in a way releasing what i feel and what I'm thinking of. QUIT! that's the word right now what runs inside my hopeless brain. I'm not a quitter or gives up that easily. But maybe just maybe it has a clinch to my poor brain, I ended up chatting with a special person that i dint want to loose or give up to. It's a shame to admit that me myself cant find the right words or the answers to my silly questions. It's like a ghost in me. Hopefully this summer would be a lot different and much more extra exciting. Feels something good in the air is coming, I'm the villain right now. I talked too much that my stupid mouth puts me in trouble. I'm really sorry for my actions this past few days. Hope you can understand my unstable brain. I always nod most of the times and say what will happen next. I know I'm pushing you through walls again. So right now I think It's best for me just to shut up and let the good times roll. No more tears for you, just that beautiful smile that once stole my cold heart. Simple plain and full of love. 2:42am I'm still awake, I pause for awhile and listen to the quiet world. Some are sleeping, some are having fun, the graveyard shift as always are present the good and the bad ones HEHE and I'm in front of my computer. I want to drink something just to loosen up yet I'm not in the mood. What to do? think think think... then a flat line comes along toootttt DEAD AIR. whew! Hard to explain. I don't want to be lonely I just want to be alone. Stick to the plan! That's all I have to do. Oh well I need to sleep even though I'm not in the mood for it. like cheating! lying down, closed eyes yet not really asleep. If only... If only... There's nothing left to lose! I assume ZEN is waiting for me, the usual insomniac list on the double shuffle full charge till the morning comes the sun king waits ( It's a routine) My Sunshine at 8am! je t'aime bisous!


-True Love Waits-